Challenge

I got kind of scared today when talking to someone. The person I was talking to, in a way, challenged me to make a *big* boundry for myself. I instantly felt tense at the idea of setting any boundries in this area of my life. I could feel me body get stiff at the mere thought. I am terrified that if I do this, I will fail? Something will happen and upset the whole applecart and I will too easily let go of the boundry. I have tried to set a boundry in this area of my life and have failed miserably at it. Seems pretty silly for someone who quit smoking cold turkey. I didn't quit the first time I tried. It took me many times. Success finally came my way when I took the time to figure out why I smoked to begin with. I remember so well. For two weeks I kept a trigger list. I paid attention to what I was doing when I wanted a cigarette, wrote it down, then went and smoked it. I set a date to quit. Then utilizing my list, I came up with a substitute for a cigarette for that activity. For example, I chewed a pen while I talked on the phone. That was my worst trigger. When I quit, I activated the substitues. It only took a short time of chewing the crap out of the end of all my pens to not need to do it. One time, I ended up with ink all over me. Oh yeah, the other subtitute I used was cinnamon sticks. I had to have something that had strong flavor for the rest of the times. Cinnamon sticks are very strong. You don't believe me? Try it! I also belonged to a email support group. It was like, for them, I couldn't fail. I had to succeed. I have been smoke free since July 5, 1995. I am guessing for these two areas of my life that have proven to be hazardous to me, maybe I need to do the same. Oh my! How much time do I have???