Poor Rayden!

My goofy dog! He looks so sad! I'll bet he makes you think nobody loves him. Talk about poser.

Challenge

I got kind of scared today when talking to someone. The person I was talking to, in a way, challenged me to make a *big* boundry for myself. I instantly felt tense at the idea of setting any boundries in this area of my life. I could feel me body get stiff at the mere thought. I am terrified that if I do this, I will fail? Something will happen and upset the whole applecart and I will too easily let go of the boundry. I have tried to set a boundry in this area of my life and have failed miserably at it. Seems pretty silly for someone who quit smoking cold turkey. I didn't quit the first time I tried. It took me many times. Success finally came my way when I took the time to figure out why I smoked to begin with. I remember so well. For two weeks I kept a trigger list. I paid attention to what I was doing when I wanted a cigarette, wrote it down, then went and smoked it. I set a date to quit. Then utilizing my list, I came up with a substitute for a cigarette for that activity. For example, I chewed a pen while I talked on the phone. That was my worst trigger. When I quit, I activated the substitues. It only took a short time of chewing the crap out of the end of all my pens to not need to do it. One time, I ended up with ink all over me. Oh yeah, the other subtitute I used was cinnamon sticks. I had to have something that had strong flavor for the rest of the times. Cinnamon sticks are very strong. You don't believe me? Try it! I also belonged to a email support group. It was like, for them, I couldn't fail. I had to succeed. I have been smoke free since July 5, 1995. I am guessing for these two areas of my life that have proven to be hazardous to me, maybe I need to do the same. Oh my! How much time do I have???

Boundries...

I am no good at setting boundries and sometimes I seem to lack the strength to enforce them.
It comes at no surprise that when someone else asserts boundries that I would get seriously upset.
Boundries are good. Boundries are important. How difficult is it for someone else to assert a boundry with the knowledge that the person they are setting it for? against? towards? might be very hurt and feel rejected? Not that the boundry setter is meaning to hurt them nor is it their responsibility to mandate how a person reacts. Nevertheless, I think it would be a tough place to be in.
The Lord has boundries, too. There are things He knows would hurt us if we cross those boundries. They are there to keep us safe. What is interesting about this is that there are times the Lord lets us make the choice. If we cross those boundries the consequences are severe, if not lethal.
The other side of that is that He loves us immensely. He will not stop us from making that choice. Sometimes it is the very consequences that lead us back to Him.
Boundries usually not fun to make or to come up against. I have the utmost respect for those people in my life who make boundries and keep them. It is risky business.

Me wait?

Feeling the overwhelming sense of God's great love right now. It is amazing. I am wathching Him work in my life as well as the life of my precious daughters. Did I say it is amazing? My goodness, I have waited a very long time for this.
I am thinking about the commercial on T.V. where people lean out the window and yell at the top of their lungs and shout, "It's my money and I need it now!" This is so like us. I don't know about you, but I hate to wait. Particularly when it comes to how to "wait" on God. What does it mean to "wait" on God? What a strange little word that yields such great struggle. Impatience to be exact. Joyce Meyer uses "When God, When?" and "Why God, why?" Sounds about right.
I know I am not the only one who has trouble with the wait answer from God. Anything God but wait. Well, let's face it. I don't necessarily like the word "No" either. But waiting? Oh no. I really do not like to wait.
We live in an everything instant society. I tend to think the Lord should be that way. He most certainly is not. There's a saying that a pastor friend taught me when I was in high school. She told me, "The Lord is never in a hurry but He is always on time." Whose time? His Time. What? Yep. His time is so much different than mine.
I am glad in a way that the Lord doesn't give us a "timeframe" for how long we will have to wait. For this particular situation, I have been waiting at least seven years. Had the Lord told me that it would be seven years, would I have stuck around? Um, I don't think so. I am so grateful that He knows what we need when we need it even if we think we need it and we need it now.