The past

I have thought for years what I might tell him if I saw him again. Part of me hoped that he was no longer living so I wouldn't have to deal with it. Now, however, it looks like I might. So I have been thinking about our relationship as a whole.

I don't recognize that person from back then. I want to tell him that I have never stopped caring for him. It hurts my heart to know what he is facing. I'm sure that his wife will be by his side. I think my baby wants to be there to. Damaged going in to the relationship and even more damaged coming out. Both of us.

Ok. back on topic. What would I say? I was really screwed up then and so was he. His might have been more exposed. His was drugs and alcohol. I had secrets and family dysfunction. That really doesn't compare to his family's dysfunction.

I want to tell him that I left because I was afraid of him. After I left, I was afraid that he would track me down and try to take my baby away from me. I was afraid he would hurt me-physically because he had before.

How can I face him? How can I after 22 years of nada. I don't know if he tried to find me. He may have. It is hard to say.

I'm done for now.
Good night.
Kels

The Joyful Heart Foundation

The Joyful Heart Foundation(JHF) came to be in 2004 when Mariska Hargitay felt compelled to reach out to help the many sexually abused women, domestic violence victims, and child abuse victims. She had been playing the part of Detective Olivia Benson on the intensly popular,"Law & Order: Special Victims Unit " for several years. The show itself brought to light a little talked about subject. She received thousands of letters from people who had been abused in some way. Her heart was moved with compassion when she heard about their pain, suffering and inability to move beyond it. There had to be something she could do to help these people. Thus, Joyful Heart Foundation was born. It's purpose is to provide counseling, education, healing and empowerment that would allow people who had been wounded by abuse move on with their lives.
Today, JHF is up for a possible grant in the amount of $250,000 towards furthering their magazine "Reunion".
There are two ways to get information about it and help JHF get this grant. $250,000 will go a long way!
1) go to http://www.mariska.com/ and click on Mariska's blog. 2) go to www.refresheverything.com/votejoy.
Please vote once a day, every day until Feb 28. And be sure to tell your friends or even strangers to vote too!