I was reading Beth Moore's blog from before her event in Tacoma this past weekend. I have been dealing with a feeling of being invisible. Yep, that's what I said. I am feeling invisible. I am not really living. I am merely exisisting. There is no "profound" joy although there is plenty of sorrow. I have been trying to understand what is wrong with me. I have completely lost interest in everything. I don't want to do anyting. Talk about pits.
Any way, in Beth's blog she was talking about seed throwers. I got to thinking, that plants don't grow if there is no seed thrown down. Is this what my problem is? I am not throwing any seed. I know that she states that we throw the seed but what happens tot he seed after that is up to the Lord. In a way, I am somewhat confused about it. Well, right now, I feel confused about alot of things but I know my relationship with the Lord has suffered tremendously and I am walking a tight rope. It is frightening to me cause I know what all the stuff that is happening in the world means. I am scared cause I know I am not in good standing witht the Lord.
It's a lonely road and I am not sure as of now how to get back.
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